Theology of the Mother's Body

I have been in contemplative, retreat mode since last weekend. Today I showered then proceeded to put back on my pajamas. Then, I contemplated that action...and all my motherly actions really.

I have a beginner's knowledge of JPII's Theology of the Body. It is generally about the beauty of our bodies and how spiritual meets physical, reflected especially in our vocations, etc etc. (Really lame summary) But that got me thinking about how I don't remember a focus on the body of a mother. (Perhaps he does but I only learned the condensed version)

I think motherhood is amazing physically. The idea that at one point there are 2 souls in our body. That you can grow a human being that started from 2 cells, one that is not of you. That your child grows and lives inside your womb for so long, that you even begin to pick up on their hiccups and the child learns your voice. That our bodies know how to do all this on their own!!!

I have also learned that motherhood is the hardest thing my body has ever gone through, and it doesn't end at birth!!! I endured 9 months of nausea and worked on my feet 12 hours at a time. My tiny body housing what turned out to be a large baby was absolutely miserable. Then, that baby had to come out....and it involved plenty of pain. I thought is was all over there but no...then you thrive somehow in a constant state of exhaustion where no amount of sleep can refill your lost stores. Being a breastfeeding mother involves constant production of nutrients and a baby hanging off your boobs all day. If that baby is not with you, it involves hooking yourself up to a pump every 3-4 hours in order to continue to provide what is best for her. On top of all this, your body is suddenly a lot plumper than you remember it and your hair begins to fall out. Yet, you must constantly eat because you are still, STILL eating for 2. I could go on....

That rant wasn't for nothing. I have come to know the glorious beauty of this suffering. It is my cross to bear as a mother, the vocation I was born to fulfill. It is my ticket to heaven because it comes with such abundant grace. Grace can give you strength to do anything. My body brought my child into this world and continues to bring her life on a daily basis. My life and my body are no longer solely for me...and that sacrifice makes me a better person everyday. I have become so proud of my body that I want to treasure it. I enjoy getting my hair done, dressing up, putting on make-up so much more now. It is no longer to get attention but rather to honor my motherly awesome-ness. And the great thing is, that if there is a day where all I can muster up is PJ's, that is OK because I know I am worth so much more than the clothes I sport.

Then, I take this thought further and reflect on the fact that Mary did all this, but for Jesus. My mind implodes because it can not handle how incredible that is....

I wish I were more eloquent because I could totally write a book right now.

Despite all its hardships I am already looking forward to doing this all over again someday in the (far?!) future. Now that is grace.