Well, we all survived! After a wonderful labor and delivery experience (still working on that birth story...its long), the first few weeks were a bit of a slap in the face. Our first day home was overwhelming to say the least and I was completely exhausted. We had family in town but I felt like I couldn't even hold a conversation with a human person. My hormones were out of control and I was crying at the drop of a hat. We had daily pediatrician appointments so they could monitor Celia's weight and billirubin levels. Sadly she lost more than 10% of her birth weight, was pretty jaundiced, and was having difficulty feeding. We had to supplement with formula for a few days which makes a new breastfeeding mom feel like a failure. On top of all that, breastfeeding hurt more than labor. For reals. Thank goodness I am stubborn or I would've thrown in the towel I think. Turns out Celia was "tongue-tied" and thanks to a helpful NP/Lactation Consultant, she got an excellent pediatrician to clip her frenulum after another frustrating office visit. Feeding finally got better and we even got out of the house to look at the fall foliage up Carter's Mountain.
Sadly, when things were looking up, I got horrible mastitis. I ended up rigoring (shaking) all night on top of the chills/sweats/body aches/fevers. I thought I was going to die. I never knew a breast infection could make you feel so horrible! Bring on the antibiotics :(
Thank God that is all in the past! We are at 2.5 weeks old and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! I am feeling better, Celia is feeding well (but still room for improvement hopefully as she gets older and stronger), and we are slowly getting this parenting thing down. I can now leave the house with her on my own without having an anxiety attack! I am slowly starting to understand Celia's schedule and needs. I am quickly realizing she is a "snuggle" baby, and needs lots of cuddle time and attention. This is so humbling and precious but definitely makes productivity a hard task. Thank God for my Moby wrap!
I have been overwhelmed with the generosity of friends and family!!! They have kept me fed, kept my house clean, kept me company, gotten me out of the house, and best of all have been a huge source of encouragement. I have also realized my husband is a saint. Parenthood has definitely taken our marriage to a new level and it has been for the best. I am so much more in love with him. Good thing b/c we are coming on 3 years this Wed :)
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What a beautiful, honest post by a new mommy! I am so sorry things have been tough. I never was as tired as I was with my first, and those first few weeks are so difficult (especially with the hormones - yech! So glad things are starting to look up. I'll add an extra prayer for you 3!
ReplyDeleteHey you! :) I am so sorry you had to deal with all that! Ditto Fuzzy, the first one is the hardest b/c you are learning everything all at once. (Funny how much parents need to "fly by the seat of their pants", huh? ;) I had mastitis with Gabe and it took awhile for him to gain weight as well (he was falling off the weight charts during the hardest time). Happily, he is thriving and you cannot tell he was EVER underweight! (I must have gotten in cream, b/c he was 20 lbs at his 4mo checkup!) Just take it one moment at a time - you *will* get through :) Celia is so beautiful and precious! One day you will look back on this time and think of it as "the good old days" ;) PS Have John post more picts of Celia! ::hint hint!:: ;)
ReplyDeleteThat was only a year ago for me--it's tricky but week 5 is when things got WAY better for us. Still not a lot of sleep (James doesn't believe in sleeping all night), but he would smile and I had a few more things figured out by then. Somehow those little things matter more than anything in the world at that point. Good luck!
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